The history of CARES SA Incorporated and it's three founding members

Jo Bainbridge	Carolyn Donaghey-Harris	Emma Murphy

Jo Bainbridge

I am a mother of three gorgeous children; Bailey -caesarean section, Noah-instrumental vbac, and Samuel-natural vbac. My husband, Dean, and I moved to Adelaide four years ago with our then infant son Bailey. I found little to no support for the emotional issues I felt after having the cs 'failure to progress'. Too many times I heard the words "at least you have a healthy baby" or the even more unhelpful, "just get over it!". I could not understand why I felt the way I did so how could I explain it to those who had not been through what I had gone through? For many months the two people I loved most, Dean and Bailey, were the subjects of my, what was on occasion (more often than not), almost hysterical and highly emotive behavior. Never before in my life had I felt so angry, betrayed and sad. I felt like I was trapped behind glass and left to watch some crazed lunatic impersonate me! I pushed my baby son and beloved husband away; almost convincing myself they were better off without me. Things had to change!

As a 'healing' strategy, I sought out a network of women. It became evident how important a specific support group was and CARES SA Inc was 'born'. I am a strong supporter of informed choice and the right to be treated with respect for that choice. As co-ordinator of CARES SA Inc, I support women with the emotional issues associated with cs and vbac; act as an advocate for women to the maternity care providers, informing them on the 'woman's perspective'; and strive to promote public awareness of the 'unspoken' issues relate to cs and vbac. I am constantly saying "Hey! Why don't we do this…?"

I aim to become a childbirth educator specializing in vbac and cs, and will be offering doula services for vbac women when my babies are not babies anymore and thus have the time to commit to birthing women.

I am happy to say that I don't think that I am that much of a crazed lunatic anymore! A bit potty perhaps, but I like it that way. I no longer look back on the birth of Bailey with the intense anger. I don't have the answers to everyone's problems but if I can help in any way then I will do anything I can! My healing comes from knowing there is one less person in the world trapped behind that glass.

So! That's me!

Carolyn Donaghey-Harris

My two births are available for you to read on this site, the first Isobel was an emergency caesarean later diagnosed as CPD, my second Daniel was a bigger baby, ventouse assisted vaginal birth, my last baby whose birth story has not made the site yet was the biggest at 4300gms. They were both good births, but my vbac was incredible! I am the typical woman who had a good caesarean, I believed that it was necessary at that time and made the choice to have it. When preparing for my next birth I began to get a sense that it was not going to be as simple as I thought. I was determined that I was going to have a vaginal birth this time and did lots of reading and sought out support in Adelaide. I could not get over how isolated I felt, trying to organise myself for this birth - I hope that is something CARES SA Inc can rectify.

I remembered a group from my first pregnancy called BACUP they had come to my yoga class and spoken about caesareans and vbac. When I needed them, they no longer existed. It was through contacting some wonderful independent midwives that I found a group trying to support other women who had experienced caesarean birth. At 30 weeks pregnant and having read about the importance of support for vbac I tried negotiating this with my private hospital, my midwife (support person) and obstetrician. Things started getting difficult, I needed support and an outlet other than my poor hubby. A meeting was held to try and get this support group into something recognisable, at almost due date I went along. This was something I believed had to be achieved for other women like me. I couldn't be the only crazy person wanting a safe vaginal birth! After Daniel's birth, I became more involved in the process of setting up and getting organised to give other women support. By May 2000 we were official, CARES SA Inc support meetings started happening on a monthly basis. We now hold them twice a month, due to demand. I love listening to peoples birth stories, I get much satisfaction from assisting people with giving emotional support, informational support and hopefully an example that if you want a vbac, it can be done. It is always an honour to be involved with someones pregnancy and birth.

Emma Murphy

Was involved from 1999 until 2005. I had a home V-BACS in 1998 exactly 18 months after a very truamatic ceasrean birth with my first daughter in 1997. I was so honoured and humbled and empassioned by working with women around birth for the years that I did. I grew in the support, laughter, tears, disapointments and joys that I shared and myself experienced during my work with Cares SA. I attended births, formed strong friendships and campaigned outside of CARES SA Inc for better ways for women to be heared and respected in their birth choices. I found birthing and motherhood to be the most profoundly transformative events of my life and so wanted to give support and freindship and good soild information to other women as I had my home VBAC pretty alone, with only my independant midwife and partner for support. We didnt even tell our families about our planned homebirth as I couldnt bare having to argue my case to have the birth I wanted anymore, I had enough work just dealing with my own fears and demons. I didnt want other women being as alone as I was.

My own life journey took me away from birthing, but i still get my "birthing fix" regularly through my work with crystals in a new age store, I often have amazing connections with women over birthing issues. I am currently studying social work with my special interests being young mothers, adoption and sexual health. So I havent so much left birthing issues behind but encorporated them into my practice in an evolving organic way.